May 102011

Negotiating Secrets: Getting The Other Side To See Things Your Way


Negotiating: Negotiators Need To Get The Other Side To See Things Their Way

Have you ever changed something about your appearance that made you look dramatically different? How did that go over with your family, friends, and coworkers? I’m willing to bet that right off the bat there was some shock when they first encountered your new look. However, over time that faded and things got back to normal. What happened is that they eventually came around to seeing you the way that you see yourself. When you are negotiating a deal, this same concept can be a powerful factor in helping you to wrap up a negotiation…

The Concept Of Acceptance Time

New ideas take time to be accepted. This is true in real life as well as in negotiations. If you are the one bringing a new idea to a negotiation, such as a price increase, or a shorter time in which you need to receive a product, then you need to expect the other side of the table to push back on the idea when you present it.

Acceptance time is the time that it takes for one party in a negotiation to accept a new idea. This acceptance does not come quickly. Instead, people need time in order to become used to a new set of circumstances.

The reason that acceptance time is such an important part of every negotiation is because we all enter into a negotiation with a mental list of things that we want to get out of the negotiation. When the other side presents us with a demand that does not sit well with our list of desired outcomes, we struggle to reconcile what we want with what is being offered to us.

Our perception of reality is initially shaped by ourselves. As the other side of the table reshapes this perception, we need to adjust and this takes time. This is especially true if the new ideas that the other side is presenting are unpleasant to us.

As negotiators we need to realize that new ideas will become old ideas and ideas that were considered to be completely unacceptable when they were initially presented can become possible once they’ve been on the table long enough. Allowing the concept of acceptance time to work its magic can allow the other side of the table to come around to our way of seeing the world and will make it possible to reach a deal with them.

What All Of This Means For You in Negotiating

Ultimately a negotiation is all about presenting the other side of the table with new ideas. You should expect these new ideas to encounter a lot of resistance when they are first presented.

However, the powerful concept of acceptance time has the ability to transform the negotiation. What was once completely unacceptable when you first presented it, can become understandable and then acceptable if you allow enough time to pass.

Skilled negotiators realize that this is a natural process that can be a part of every negotiation. Using this knowledge they both present new ideas early on in the process and then allow enough time to pass so that the other side can become comfortable with the new ideas. Use the power of acceptance time to allow a deal to be reached no matter how new your proposals are.

– Dr. Jim Anderson
Blue Elephant Consulting –
Your Source For Real World Negotiating Skills™

Related Negotiating Information:


Learning Optimized, Behavior Changed, Performance Advanced

My deliverables to you are: (I) Improved Learning Outcomes and Increased Competence; a. Retention to fluency (95% vs. 28%), b. Behavior change through accountable reinforcement, c. Improved application, d. Advanced individual performance and e. Advanced organization performance.

You will ensure that every person reaches true mastery* in the shortest amount of time. Mastery* produces people who have the adaptive reasoning skills required to effectively apply knowledge to new situations.

*Mastery is required where appropriate information application is critical to achieve a desired outcome; For example, Education: K-12, Higher, Corporate, Government; Medical; Medical Continuing Medical Education – Performance Improvement; Safety; Sales Performance; Aviation; Military; Individual Certifications and Individual Continuing Education.

McDonald Sales and Marketing, LLC, Specialties:

Appropriate Application;   Behavior Change;  eLearning;   Employee Selection and Employee Development;   Human Capital Management;  Individual Performance Improvement;  Learning Performance Improvement;   Learning Retention and Reinforcement Improvement;   Organization Performance Improvement;   Workforce Development and Productivity;  Verbal Skills Simulation and Reinforcement;   Sales Performance Improvement;   Web-Based (SaaS/Cloud) Solutions

To Discuss how these Solutions will add value for you, your organization and/or your clients, Affinity/Resale Opportunities, and/or Collaborative Efforts, Please Contact:

Tom McDonald,; 608-788-5144; Skype: tsmw5752

McDonald Sales and Marketing, LLC